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Biggest Mom Fail Ever

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 Ryan,     Where are you? Is it pretty there? Does Heaven have everything wonderful? What does Jesus actually look like? What does God look like? Do you eat in Heaven? Do they have Bacon Gravy and biscuits? I miss you. I think of you all the time. I am selling the house. As much as I have some good memories there, I need to move on. I didn't mean to let you down. I let everything go after you died. I am just now fixing the shower, you and I started working on a couple weeks before you left. I still have your Menard's list. Pricing has changed though. I miss you. I wonder where you would be right now in life. Carter is almost 5, can you believe it? Some days, I swear I see you all over again in his little face. I haven't seen you in my dreams yet, or had that visit from you. I wish you would. The last time I saw you was when you came to me the night you passed, and it wasn't a great meeting. You were so distraught and sorry, and i kept saying it's okay.....but we bot...

Looking For Sanity in a Crazy World

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  I haven't really blogged in awhile. My last blog was about weight loss, and trying to reinvent a new me. I was in a whole different life. I was with my ex, I had friends that have grown so distant, I can't even call them acquaintances anymore. I became a grandma. I lost my son to suicide. I gained another daughter. My babies have grown. My girls are 24 and 16. My parents are older. I have more pets. How do things change so fast since 2011? I spent so many years trying to become someone else, instead of learning to love myself. I made many mistakes along the way, and learned many hard lessons. Oh! I got married! Best wedding ever! I love my husband so much! Seriously, everything I ever dreamed of!! My Jim and Sally Passed away. I have a distant relationship with my father, but me and my mom are tight. My momma is moving back here. I can't wait to feel like I have family again. I mean I have my husband's family, and I love that. They are so good to me and the kids. I fe...